He Loves Me

Two weeks ago, on December 5th, I was at the weekly Monday night Christian Union meeting on my campus.  After the meeting, people were eating mince pies among other things for the CU Christmas party.  I've been gluten free for nearly two years thanks to an unexplained intolerance, so I wasn't eating any of it.  One of the guys in the group told me that he used to be lactose intolerant, but God healed him and now he can eat whatever he wants.  He asked to pray for me.  I said sure.  A couple nights later, he messaged me and asked if I had eaten any gluten yet.  I said no.  He asked why not.  I said I felt like that guy in the Bible who said 'Yes, I believe but help me with my unbelief!'  I took the leap of faith and ate some.  The next morning I had one brief, sharp stab of pain but nothing else.  I actually felt really good.  No smoldering pain.  No stay in bed pain.  No swollen nastiness.  No super fatigue.  Leaping again, I ate one more thing.  Still I was fine.  The next morning I had cinnamon rolls and went for a run.  I was wondering if this was for real.  I wondered if it was going to suddenly catch up to me.  I wondered if I should say anything to people lest it prove to be untrue.

I have a lot of good God time when I run and during this run I was asking all of those questions.  God's answer?  Went something like this:  "You believe I can heal.  You've seen me heal.  You would believe this for another person.  So why won't you believe I would do this for you?"

BAM.  Smackdown God style.  Smackdowned by love.

Why can it be hard to accept God's love?  Why is it hard to just let him love me?  I think somehow there is still a part of me that wants to earn God's love.  That wants to earn praise and recognition as if it's a matter of sport performance or class ranking.  A part of me that wants to be like, "Look, Daddy!  Look what I've done!  See you can be proud of me!"  But it is completely unnecessary.  God loves me no matter what I do, just as my earthy daddy loved me on both good days and bad.  Yet it is so easy to fall into the 'I need to earn it' trap.  So easy to say, "Oh well, I deserve this problem because I mess up way too much.  Yes, God could heal me, but he sees my heart and knows there's still darkness there.  He's saved me, but I shouldn't ask for more than that.  I'm too unworthy.  Let someone else who fights the battle better than me have the blessing."

But the Word of God says,

"If God is for us, who can ever be against us?  Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?  Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own?  No one - for God himself has given us right standing with himself.  Who then will condemn us?  No one - for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God's right hand, pleading for us.  Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love?  Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?... No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.  Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Romans 8:31-39

"He does this to make the riches of his glory shine even brighter..."

-Romans 9:23

God wants to lavish his love upon us not because we deserve it but because it glorifies his name.  We who accept his love, accept his sacrifice upon the cross, accept reconciliation, accept his preeminence, accept his omnipresence, his omnipotence, his divine Lordship, his perfection, his wisdom, 'do' not because we need to seek approval but because we have approval and rejoice in it.  We rejoice in its freedom.  We rejoice because he loves us.

Today I ate gluten.  Tomorrow I will eat gluten.  Not because I deserve it but because my Heavenly Father wants to teach me how much he loves me.  How much he loves all of us.  How much he cares about even the little things.  Because let's face it, a gluten intolerance, as annoying as it is, is not the worst problem a person could have.  But yet, he has healed it to woo my heart another step closer to his.

"Look, I am making everything new!"

-Revelation 21:5

Don't fight him.  He loves you.  He wants to be mighty in your life.  He invites you to be his bride.  Have you said yes?  Have you come to the alter?  Have you said 'I do'?  Have you come to the only one able to save?  To wash you white as snow?  To make you new?

"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners."

-Romans 5:8

Oh Jesus, lover of my soul.